The concept of parasocial relationships is not new. In fact, they aren’t necessarily abnormal either. Parasocial relationships are connections people form with others, typically celebrities, though they don’t truly know each other and the celebrity is not even aware that the other person exists.
According to Psychology Today, these relationships stem from the fact that the human brain is programmed to crave social interaction. They also note that as people spend more time online, they can identify familiar faces, which creates a sense of comfort.
People have been experiencing parasocial relationships for a very long time. Psychologist Karen Dill even claims that these connections could date back to ancient Rome, Psychology Today says.
If you have a favorite celebrity or celebrity crush you think of often, don’t worry. That aspect of parasocial relationships seems to be normal human nature. However, when these unreciprocated relationships become obsessive, they can become dangerous. This is a risk that needs to be taken more seriously in an age where social media is so prominent.
Old Hollywood stars did not need to worry about their die-hard fans obsessing over their Instagram page, harassing them in the comments or even trying to directly reach out to them. This is a new concern faced by public figures today.
The simplicity of contact through social media is the reason too many people are comfortable wishing their favorite athlete or movie star a “happy birthday.”
I once knew someone who messaged Noah Kahan every day, asking him to hire them as his photographer despite being a teenager from a small town in New Hampshire with 100 Instagram followers. Why do people like this believe there is a chance the celebrity will respond?
Social media makes celebrities seem more accessible than ever. People no longer have to stake out in front of Beverly Hills mansions in order to get a glimpse into their favorite actor’s life.
For celebrities that maintain a casual social media presence, similar to that of ordinary people, this illusion of friendship is heightened. Noah Kahan often posts to his Instagram story with silly selfies, telling his followers about how he lost his wallet or embarrassingly took a tumble on stage at his latest concert.
This window into the singer’s personal life is an example of how fans feel more included and closer to celebrities than they actually are.
I remember when the internet went crazy over Billie Eilish putting every single follower on her “Close Friends” story on Instagram. Even though over one million other people saw the same green ring around the star’s profile picture, fans still felt special.
Robert Irwin, son of Steve Irwin and current contestant on “Dancing With the Stars,” went viral for saying he’s waiting to find an “American tourist” he can spend his life with. Now, one browse through his Instagram comments reveals a concerning theme.
The comment sections are riddled with things like “But are you married? My daughter’s available,” “My husband” and “You don’t know, but you will be my future husband.” These are actual comments left by real people on an Instagram page of someone who doesn’t even know they exist. This should not be considered normal.
What started as a playful response to his relationship status and a reference to how his parents met made way for weird parasocial attachments. It wasn’t an invitation for people to submit relationship applications under his social media posts, yet some people gladly did so.
Social media has provided people with an outlet to act in ways they would never act if the interaction were done in person. The screen serves as a mask, guarding people from the embarrassment or shame they would feel if they said these things to 21-year-old Robert Irwin’s face.
This makes it too easy for celebrities to be harassed and unhealthily obsessed over. There’s nothing wrong with having a little crush on a public figure, but it becomes concerning when people start to convince themselves they have a chance at spending the rest of their lives with them.
If this continues to escalate, parasocial relationships will be a danger for public figures just trying to live their lives. People will find it even more acceptable to chase them down in public due to the illusion of friendship created through a screen.
Use this as a reminder that Tom Brady won’t care if he gets a “happy birthday” message from you, Noah Kahan is not looking for an obsessive amateur photographer and Robert Irwin does not want you to be his American tourist.
