Nowadays publishing is easier than ever, even too easy for its own good. Just about anyone can sell their steamy romance books on Amazon without having to go through a professional editor and pitching it to a big publishing company.
Some romance novels are fairly tame and merely just share the author’s personal fantasies but it gets to a point where it is over romanticizing toxic behavior and outdated power dynamics. This blurs the line between an author’s sexual desires and the reader’s idea of what a relationship should look like.
Romance novels are mostly targeted towards young women and it is undeniable to say that we are not influenced by what the media tells us, especially with topics that are less talked about.
I was shocked as a little 13-year old who hadn’t even hit puberty yet when I opened the steamy fantasy romance book, “A Court of Thorns and Roses,” which is a book I think no one in middle school should be reading.
It is easier to look to the media on topics like sex and romantic conflicts to satiate our curiosity because of the judgement or awkwardness that comes with sharing our questions to the people in our lives.
While some people enjoy the idea of violent erotica in their romance novels it is a problem when these kinds of books are not handled with care.
The minds of the youth are very impressionable and exposing this kind of smut can affect the way young women portray sexual relationships. They believe that because it is so prevalent in literature then it is normal to see this kind of violence in a real life scenario.
Hardcore smutty romance is most of the time not written to tell the audience “this is what a relationship should look like” but the romanticization of toxic characters makes it hard for young readers to discern this message.
With romance literature unintentionally saying “the main character likes this, you should too” it maims the idea of preference and personal fantasy. People should like what they like without pushing erotica into young girls’ hands.
Smut should be remembered as being a “fantasy” and not reality. Think about in real scenarios protection, consent, and awkwardness should be taken into account. It takes a lot of communication which these erotica novels lack.
For anyone who has consumed any form of smut the love interest is usually cruel and aggressive. There are apparent power dynamics with the man being tall and dominant while the woman is petite and submissive.
With the freehanded use of aggressive sexual scenarios and toxic power dynamics, it can create the wrong idea and make the younger audience believe it is normalized in today’s society.
In order to avoid the normalization of this kind of “literature” there are ways we can go about creating a healthy mindset about sex.
Writers should emphasize more clearly in their novels that this is an apparent fantasy not leaving any room for the justification of abuse and internalized misogyny. We do not want to leave behind any ideas that it is okay to romanticize domestic violence whatsoever.
Women need to push themselves to fight the concept that sex is too taboo to talk about. This certainly cannot be changed overnight but slowly opening up about it maybe with other girls or someone you’re comfortable sharing things with.
This will help keep a healthy mindset about sex and positively affirm the idea that everyone likes different things but there is always a line when it comes to securing physical and mental safety.
So if you do pick up this sort of erotica it is important to remember that it is likely not an accurate portrayal of what a healthy adult relationship should look like. I must emphasize to you to not get trapped in tunnel vision of what the media tells you. You may be surprised by how unhealthy the information really is.
