Flowers, candy, romance, love – all components of a day that most people either roll their eyes and scoff at, or are completely indifferent to. Or, if you’re in a happy couple (or just a couple), you’re out there celebrating the joys of love and companionship. Yup, I’m talking about Valentine’s Day. From some perspectives, Valentine’s Day may very well be the most hated of all holidays, but I won’t be jumping on the cynical bandwagon this year, and you should not either.
If you are in a relationship – maybe it’s long-term and you have found your person, or maybe it’s new and exciting and still a little nerve-racking – the day of love is probably pretty exciting for you. But if you are not coupled up, you may be looking at the holiday through a more cynical lens. And you are not necessarily wrong to feel that way – I mean really, what’s the point of celebrating a holiday that only serves as a reminder of a lack of love? And why does it make so many people feel that way just because they are not in a relationship?
I would put most of the blame for the all-or-nothing attitude towards Valentine’s Day on the fact that it is, at its core, a simple social construct. It doesn’t exist outside of human perception, and so we give it all the meaning and purpose that it carries. This doesn’t mean that the roses, candy hearts, cards, gifts and gender-based advertisements are a figment of our imagination; it simply means that without the influence of human socialisation, the day is not an objective reality of its own and the meaning it holds is entirely in our control.
I think a severely underrated facet of this day is what is widely referred to — mostly on the internet — as “Galentines.” Galentines is, to me, the ideal version of this holiday. It was coined by the character Leslie Knope on “Parks And Recreation,” and unlike its namesake and mother-holiday, it has so much less pressure associated with it.
Until recently, young girls were taught from a young age that they would succeed in life if they found a boyfriend, or a husband, or a prince, someone who would love and provide for them. Now, we are seeing more encouragement towards nurturing friendships and celebrating the women around us, and even though I may be delving far too deep into the meaning of this sit-com reference, I think everyone should be celebrating Galentine’s Day the same way they would Valentine’s Day.
It’s not exclusive to singles, or to people in relationships: “Galentines” is for everyone. It celebrates enduring, unconditional female friendships, removes romantic expectations and emphasizes self-love. I’m not saying we should universally refer to this day as “Galentines” and throw out Valentine’s Day completely, more that we should all take the meaning of it and consider that more heavily when going out to buy our significant other some mass produced, hearts-and-lace-themed gift.
Now we have arrived at the core — or heart, if you will — of the problem with this holiday: consumerism. Consumerism, I have noticed, fuels most major holidays in America. The meaning and humanity of these sacred days tends to get buried under endless junk, single-use plastic trinkets, gadgets and decor. Capitalism has weaponised love, one of our greatest needs, for financial gain under the guise of Valentine’s Day.
This is not to say we should not be giving gifts to our loved ones, but rather that we should be putting more thought and effort into those gifts. Instead of over-the-top junk that is sure to be forgotten, give handmade cards and trinkets, or small items that carry emotional significance to the person in mind.
That’s how we make days like this special: by putting effort in, because the love surrounding Valentine’s Day comes from us, and not the holiday itself. Valentine’s Day should be a day to celebrate the people you care about, and the people should be more important than the money spent or the products that come with it, because at the end of the day, it costs nothing to love and be loved.
