Loneliness is a common feeling. Everyone has felt alone at some point in their lives, whether it was fleeting or a long-running feeling. Frequently, there has been an increase in men, specifically young men, saying they have been afflicted by the male loneliness epidemic.
What I take from this is that men have become too afraid to practice their socialization skills in the real world. They would rather chat with people online or blame feminism for their loneliness rather than do something about their issue.
The male loneliness epidemic is a term formed from the statistic that men have fewer platonic and romantic relationships than ever before in history.
Research collected in 2021 found that 15% of men claim that they have no close friends, and a study in 2023 found that men ranging from millennials to Gen Z agree that “no one really knows me well.”
Men are becoming stuck in their feelings of self-isolation and social anxiety. Men used to feel lonely, so they called their friends to go do something together. You may be wondering why do men not rely on their friendships like that anymore?
One vital reason that men are less connected to other men is because of the historical stigma that if you are too close in your platonic friendships, then you are assumed to be homosexual. This was a stigma created in the time when the “Oscar Wilde case” was released to the public, and homoerotic relationships were seen as a bad thing.
After Oscar Wilde was arrested for “public indecency,” there was a social shift in male relationships, therefore creating a huge disconnect in deep relationships. Nowadays, being gay is more normalized, but the social and cultural effects of stigmatization cling to modern-day friendships.
I think that Gen Z men are statistically more lonely due to the coronavirus pandemic and the pronounced increase in internet use to replace communication. After being stuck in our homes doing everything online, people were shoved back into the world more socially disconnected than ever.
Social media makes everything easier communication-wise.
Men no longer have to go out and introduce themselves and find people they have things in common with. No longer do they have to walk up to someone and ask them out on a date. They don’t have to face rejection in person anymore. This lack of in-person connection creates a huge disconnect and leads to greater loneliness.
Playing video games with friends online and scrolling on dating apps, telling girls they’re hot, is not going to fill the social connection void they feel. It is about growing and going out into the world to build social skills.
Part of this loneliness epidemic is the side of young men who turn to radical pipelines where things like male podcasts and extremist right-wing influencers bring them into hardcore, anti-feminist ideologies.
It is understandable that they fall into these rabbit holes due to the fact that when they lack something, they look to others who have what they do not for advice. In this example, lonely young men look towards confident men.
If that charismatic man on the internet says the reason you are lonely is because of the rise of feminism, then these young men are going to believe that feminism is the problem, rather than looking inward or trying to build social skills.
Toxic male influencers are taking advantage of vulnerable young men who are desperately yearning for guidance. Rather than teaching men to go out and practice building social skills, they tell them to blame everything else in the world but their own faults. It is much easier to blame something else than to try to change yourself.
Part of growing up is learning how to talk to people and open up to building connections with others. I believe that communication is a skill that you have to work at your entire life. Things like rejection or falling out with friends is a part of learning, even though it is painful.
Though there are a lot of factors going against them, I believe that everyone has a good amount of agency over their own life. I do not think loneliness is a self-induced feeling, rather, I think it is very common and something most people have endured.
What I believe is self-inflicted is the idea that the epidemic is the reason men are so dissociated from social connection. These specific cultural habits that have materialized over time are things that men have adopted. I think these habits are breakable and in bettering their socialization skills, they could better their constant feelings of loneliness.
