I visited Puerto Rico with 12 of my friends for Spring Break. We jumped from cliffs, snorkeled with fish and danced in the streets. We crisped in the sun until the sky grew weary and our skin stained with salt and sunscreen. Aside from the marvelous memories, my favorite part of the trip wasn’t an excursion. It was the hours in between. 

My favorite day was when we decided to spend the afternoon by the pool at our Airbnb. The house was beautiful; classic Puerto Rican architecture inside, fairy lights sparse throughout greenery surrounding an inground pool, a table and seating under a slanted tree — pure bliss.   

While my friends giggled and basked, I slid a chair out to sit at the rounded table with my close friends, Emma and Sophia. Sophia had her body to the pool, laid out in the sunshine and propped up as she always is. Wherever there is Sophia, there is comfort and light. Emma sat close to the trunk of the tree, her sun-kissed face prominent in the restoring shade. Where there is Emma, there is restoration and peace. 

We trickled into a conversation about the state of our friendship. About our differences, about how they summoned the purpose within us when our friend group surrounded each other. Malvina, thoughtful, thorough and keen. Nina, sentimental, intellectual and adventurous. Matt, honest, intelligent and spontaneous. William, empathetic, artistic and patient. All of us harbor traits that balance each other in tandem.  

Humans are tribes, packs in nature. The value of friendship is beyond our mere comprehension. In every bout of nature, every species and climate, there remain integral roles for all animals. In wolf packs, there are alphas, betas, omegas — in humans, there are leaders, empaths, connectors. We are vessels of soul and energy that find what we lack in each other. Friendship is the most beautiful, enigmatic, selfless and rewarding form of connection humans have. 

We owe nothing to each other, though we give it because we cannot help but do so. The shirt from our closet, the granola bar from our purse, the soda from our fridge. The capacity to listen from our minds, the handwritten letter from our hearts and the walk to meet each other from our legs. It is the only connection that does not require labor, sexuality or blood — solely heart. 

As I near graduation this May, I am quickly saying “see you later” to the friendships college has blessed upon me. Though my friend group will shortly move to different states and cities for work and graduate school, I have immensely gained from my daunting loss. I always found the sentiment that “it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey” to be rather cheesy and overdone. Boy, was I wrong. 

In my friends, I have found so much purpose. I came into college with a slight idea of a path. I wanted to write, connect and create for a living. With that, I veered into journalism. Though I learned about AP Style, interviewing and the inverted pyramid, a pamphlet of available majors as you apply to college at 18 only offers you so much about your purpose. Purpose is found within you, and your soul is discovered within the expressive comfort of your friends. 

Our village keeps the light on and the crops growing, but it also keeps the walls draped in art and villagers dancing in the kitchen at midnight. In your friends, your chosen tribe, you are offered what you are missing, or rather what has been under the surface of your self all along. I have never felt the amount of vulnerability, comfort and intellectual leveling with any romantic interest or employer that I have found with my friends. No pressure of familial expectation, no pressure to tailor your resume to their liking. Just you, and that is enough. 

My point is blunt: Friendship matters. When you find people who screw your bulb tighter because they selflessly want to see you shine and do not dim your light, it is important to do the same. Life is not measured in the amount of cliffs you jump from, your LinkedIn connections or the amount of money in the bank when you pass. It is about the tribe you have loved and lost with, those who have seen you both whimper to the wind and sing serenely to the sea. 

The long talks, the drunken laughter and the toasts at dinner to time spent together. The moments that aren’t featured on an Instagram photo dump or given in the highlight reel you relay to your co-workers and family after the trip has subsided. We find our gratitude and lust for life in the hours in between with friends, in the quiet sizzling of the pan as eggs cook and coffee slides into mugs. Tired bodies trickle into the kitchen to discuss the night before and the day ahead. When the village comes together because we have filtered love and purpose so deeply within its walls.  

I implore you to find a shaded, rounded table with those you love and blunder your heart onto the table, letting it soak in the love, comfort and unrelenting compassion that surrounds it.