If you’ve spent any time on the internet, you’ve probably seen the “performative male” stereotype making its rounds on social media. These people listen to indie music and read niche feminist literature while drinking $9 matchas from a local coffee shop. They might be considered cool by some due to their knowledge of underground bands and unique fashion choices, while others assume it is all an act to make them seem cooler than they actually are.
On the other end of the “cool person” spectrum is the “pilates princess” with her matching set and perfect, slicked-back hair. They are ready for their daily 6 a.m. workout classes and always finish up with an Instagram story at a bougie smoothie shop with drinks that have some secret vitamin in them that will keep them young for another 50 years.
“Pilates princesses” are completely different from their indie counterparts, but for the people on this side of TikTok, these girls are the epitome of cool.
TikTok loves to label different hobbies and stylistic choices as “aesthetics” and market them as the coolest thing to be for each corner of the internet. I have seen “Tomato Girl Summer” trend at the same time as “Coastal Cowgirl,” and those who fit into these vibes are considered cool and trendy, even if they are different aesthetics.
These days, however, the hipster indie kid seems to be taking the lead with what is considered to be cool. They don’t listen to “mainstream pop music” and they think Carhartt is designer. They will argue the merits of every Wes Anderson film and worship Elliott Smith as their god and Radiohead as their savior.
These people have built their personalities off of being different from everyone else in our generation because their tastes are not what’s considered “trendy,” but at the end of the day it has just become another TikTok aesthetic and meme.
Performative male contests have been popping up in many major cities where these men show off how cool they are to the delight of the large crowds that show up to watch. They are a performance of cool rather than being authentically cool.
At the root of all of these TikTok aesthetics, is the performance aspect. These aesthetics don’t matter without anyone seeing it. They are showing off on social media and attending these contests because they need validation from others of their “coolness.”
What does it mean to be cool in a world of social media where technically everything is a performance?
Social media has made it possible for the average person to present their lives as aesthetic and put on their own performances. If even every day people are living up to an expectation of cool, the term can’t apply to “aesthetic” people or “performative” people because then it could apply to everyone.
Ultimately, the coolest thing a person can be is themself. We are all a mosaic of the people in our lives and that’s what makes us individual. I am the music my friends listen to and the movies I have watched with my parents. I am the humor I have grown up listening to my whole life and I use the lingo of those around me.
If we are constantly living up to what we want to present to social media, we would not be authentic and we would not be ourselves. The coolest people I know live their lives to their own standards and are not trying to be cool, they just are.
Social media has skewed the way we think about personalities by making them packages that our consumerist brains can eat up and spend thousands on. At the end of the day a personality comes from the way you choose to live your life outside of pretty pictures and a stereotype.
