Opinion: Trump won’t protect my gay mom, and he won’t protect your LGBTQ+ friends, either

November 4, 2020

With a viral video of First Lady Melania Trump defending her husband’s contradicting stance on gay marriage circulating the week of the election, President Donald Trump’s opposition to gay marriage is being magnified, creating further stress for all members of the LGBTQ+ community and their allies.

“I was shocked to discover that some of these powerful people have tried to paint my husband as anti-gay. Donald is the first president to enter the White House supporting gay marriage,” Melania stated in the video.

The clips of Melania were accompanied with those of a woman with blonde hair holding what appears to be a chicken sandwich interrupting saying remarks like “huh” and “what,” clearly confused by what the first lady has said.

What followed is the less shocking statements by President Trump: clips from three separate events, in which he said, “I am not in favor of gay marriage. I am against gay marriage. I don’t support gay marriage.”

The woman with blonde hair appeared again, said “oh” and then laughed, seeming to have expected these statements from the president.

As the proud daughter of a gay woman, this video increased any anxiety I have already felt as election results roll in. If the president is re-elected, how do I know that my mom and her long-time partner, who are currently engaged, will be able to marry?

Tuesday night, there was a brief period of time when Trump was ahead in terms of the popular vote. I watched my mom, who has never been very involved in politics, with her eyes glued to the TV.

In the weeks leading up to the election, her and I had several conversations about this topic. She made comments to me about how no gay person should vote for Trump, and those who love their friends and family who are gay should not either.

I’ve heard the question asked, “well if those who are gay are scared they won’t be able to marry in the coming years, why don’t they just do it now, while they still can?”

My answer to that question is simple. Gay weddings should be allowed to be as beautiful and as celebrated as the weddings of heterosexual people. 

I want, so badly, to be able to attend my mom’s wedding someday. I want to be her maid of honor, and for it to be a glorious day for her, for her partner and for everyone involved. I don’t want it to be a quick, rushed and forced ceremony in town hall that was done out of fear of not being able to have a wedding at all.

Is that demand too much to ask? Well, for President Trump, I suppose it is. As my family holds our breath, praying for the best result in this election, I hope that everyone who voted did so while thinking of the many who have a lot at stake, including and beyond my family and other families with gay members. I hope your votes were cast with kindness and empathy.

Follow Morgan on Twitter @morganjltorre

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  • S

    Sean McKeown-YoungNov 7, 2020 at 11:31 pm

    I somewhat accidentally stumbled across your extremely eloquent op-Ed. I don’t live close to Suffolk but I can absolutely sympathize with your mom. I’m gay and my husband and I have two kids: sons, ages 16 and 13.
    We’re also afraid in a way that I’m not sure straights and straight families can really understand. It’s somewhere between reliving a bad dream and feeling vulnerable and easily attacked. My youngest son said ‘so our marriage is safe,’ upon learning that Biden was winning. I don’t think that he meant ‘our’ initially but he said our marriage is as much his as ours and I don’t disageee.
    I just wanted to say thanks for your sentiments and thanks for your heartfelt words. Please offer my sincerest best wishes for you mom and congratulate her for raising such and extraordinary kid.

  • J

    Jeanie KnuuttilaNov 5, 2020 at 7:34 am

    This is so well written with meaning to the core of the matter. You made me cry, in the good way and I hope you continue to share your words, feelings and opinions. Thank you for caring so much for all of us in the LBGTQ+ community we need it

  • T

    TinaNov 5, 2020 at 7:33 am

    I agree that Persident Trump has displayed mixed messages about Gay marriage. I too happen to be a happily married lesbian woman aware of Gay topics in politics. However I believe in this Election this topic is heavily overshadowed by much more concerning topics. The entire Country is in shambles. The Government is under attack by itself. We need a Persident who has the Country and its overall well being at the helm. One that is not inslaved by political money, propaganda and agendas.